Keeping A Sunshine State of Mind
Avoidance and denial is actually working wonders!
Vibe check!! Everyone is feeling awesome, the everything is stellar, and we’re all doing great, right?!
jk lol
The vibes are bleak for a lot of people. Not only is it cold, the hovering atmosphere is dark and dreary. Around every corner, it seems, is a new hellscape waiting to unfold. Should I not file my taxes? Is it all going to end? Are we witnessing the birth of the real-life version of The Handmaid’s Tale? Will we make it through this year? When’s the asteroid hitting Earth? Do we have escape pods yet?
January felt like it lasted way longer this time around, like we’ve already lived a thousand lifetimes since the new year began. Now, February is about to come to a close, thank goodness, but time is still crawling. Hey, the sun is setting later now, so that’s something… right? (We need to take the little victories when we can, alright?!)
Dear reader, my goodness. The vibe is in shambles.
Every time I open a browser or app, I’m bombarded with stuff I, frankly, don’t need to see. It’s contributing to the already rough vibe. I know you probably feel it too. Politics, badly staged videos to fake being authentic… look, there aren’t enough memes and jokes to combat it, and if I’m being honest… I’d rather bury my head in the sand. Gaze out the window and watch the birds, and getting a little jealous of them because, they have never had to think about paying taxes or watching the news unfold in real time.
Recently, a dear friend texted me:
Legit, denial is my go-to response. Like I’m gaslighting myself into believing the sky is green and the grass is blue, so I can continue to frolic in said blue meadow amongst the butterflies fluttering against the green skies without worry. If only!
It absolutely pains me to avoid news, and even more so to admit that fact. UGH. I love news! I love reading it, watching it, consuming it. I always have. Maybe I will again, but that feels far off. Right now, I find it suffocating, nauseating. Every single day, nearly every hour, there’s something new and exciting to freak out about! My head, and my heart, just can’t take it right now.
I, for one, am yearning for precedented times.
I normally do not condone the phrase “ignorance is bliss” — I truly believe it’s important to be aware of what’s happening in the world, especially right around you. Sometimes, though… you have to shut down some things to protect your peace. I loathe it. I really do. But I guess this is where we are right now!
We need more brightness, more happy thoughts. More sunshine, less rain clouds. Less worries, more joy. If we need to ignore some things right now to get to that point, I am all for it. Seek out the good, avoid the bad!
I truly am trying to strike a delicate balance to this whole “ignore everything” and “stay positive” vibe. I want to be realistic and avoid toxic positivity, because I think that can be just as bad as negativity at its lowest. Saying or thinking things like “oh, it’ll never happen here!” or “think of the positives!” or the dreaded “just snap out of it!” doesn’t really help most people. In fact, saying or singing “don’t worry, be happy” is nice but it requires a level of denial, don’t you think?
I laugh: ahahahah we wish.
It’s really hard to not worry about what’s happening around you and in the world in general, but sometimes, and this is a gentle reminder: it’s okay to do just that. That brings me to…
A Handful of Things I’m Doing To Keep a Sunshine State of Mind:
Reading! OMG I’m still reading my ass off. Nothing like escaping into other horrifying worlds or lovely landscapes, am I right?! I’m about to go apply for a PL Card that will give me access to any public library in the state, so I can expand my holds list… since it’s forever maxed out! I’m also going to explore using services like Hoopla, so I can borrow more audiobooks and digital media. My TBR keeps growing, which makes my heart happy. Just. Read. More!
Only dipping my toes into the news waters… and trying desperately to stick to sites like AP and Reuters to avoid major slants. I can’t take it, otherwise. I’m checking local news, for things that impact me and my community directly. If I see something that makes me go “huh?” on social media, I’ll do a very quick search to see if I can find a couple of sources to confirm what I saw in a Reel or random social media post is true. I literally won’t spend more than 45-60 seconds doing so, because that’s all I have the capacity for right now. If I can’t confirm that quickly, I move on. Strangely, it’s helping?
Rewatching old sitcoms. My husband and I started doing this in 2020 (hello, pandemic isolation) and continued rolling through classic sitcoms of the 80s and 90s. We alternate who chooses — his last pick was The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and when we finished that, I chose Family Matters. I almost went with Step By Step, but I know we’ll get there. We’ve gone through so many series since we started doing this, from Cheers to Parks & Rec, and it’s nice to know there’s a huge backlog of great, wholesome comedy still waiting for us to devour.
Getting lost in cinema. I’m working my way through the Mission Impossible franchise now, because I haven’t seen most of the movies. A nice little spy thriller/action flick is nice to have on whilst checking out. I also rewatched World War Z and all I could think (between the jump scares and anxiety-ridden scenes) was “hey, at least things aren’t this bad.” lol, 🥴 There’s nothing like watching a dystopian film and using it to get some perspective on the reality happening around you right now. Here’s hoping there isn’t a zombie outbreak anytime soon. (But if there is, can it please be Walking Dead zombies, and not 28 Days Later zombies? I can’t handle the thought of the fast ones!)
Cooking and baking. This was something I put on my Ins/Outs list for 2025 and I am enjoying trying new recipes and perfecting older ones. And the possibilities now that we have a smoker and grill are endless. Looking forward to some delicious barbecue in the near future! But yesterday, I did some simple things: I made a lemon vinaigrette for salads, some Fruity Pebbles treats (one of my faves), and a little rice cake topped with Cool Whip and melted dark chocolate. Only three ingredients for each of these — you simply can’t get easier than that!
Working on my novel!! I’m doing my last revision and I have polished at least the first sixty pages, and several chapters (probably around 220 pages left? Unclear!) to work through. I’m thrilled with the changes I’ve made, thanks to the help of a really talented editor (shout out to Melissa, you rule, and if anyone wants/needs her info, I’d be happy to send it your way). She really helped me whip this into a better story. Now, I’m querying agents and sending off samples. Here’s hoping someone bites and wants to read the whole thing. Hopefully I can have the rest of the manuscript wrapped up completely in a few weeks. I’m really enjoying the process — it’s a great challenge, and it’s making me a better writer.
What are you doing to keep the sanity alive? Please, share! We need to lean on each other in these trying times. Let’s try each other’s coping mechanisms and maybe we can achieve that “don’t worry, be happy” dream-like state together.
Thanks for sharing Nicole! I recommend adding Abbot Elementary to your sitcom list if you haven't checked it out yet! :)
I'm trying to ignore the state of the world too. It's too much for me to handle right now. Everything seems to be getting worse, and that's bad for my mental health. Sometimes, we have to put ourselves first just to keep our sanity.