In 1993, I was nine and in fourth grade. My parents were separated, getting divorced, and I was bullied on the playground at school. I didn’t understand why I was angry all the time. I remember my teacher asking me how I was doing in light of the divorce and I said “GREAT! Maybe now the fighting will stop.” (Spoiler: it didn’t!)
If I could talk to that nine year old now, I’d tell her to keep her chin up and in ten years, literally none of this will matter. And I know it wouldn’t help her much, but I’d hug her tight and promise that her life will be great in a few short years.
In 2003, I nineteen and trying to figure out my place in the world. The last decade was spent finding myself as a teen/young adult, getting through high school and running away from my hometown.
At nineteen, I was living in a downtown dorm, making new friends in the city, and avoiding going back home at all costs. I made plans to crash on a friend’s couch when the semester ended until I could find a place closer to my job. I found new friends (only one would last, at least for the next few years, but she would later introduce to my soul sister, so it’s fine) while slinging steaks at night and partied with them into the early morning hours. I’d wake up and do it all again. I got ahead of myself. Didn’t we all at nineteen, though?
If I could talk to that nineteen year old now, I’d tell her not to live with roommates and take college seriously. Maybe you won’t end up living in Florida next year.
In 2013, I was twenty-nine and wow, how much my life changed in the matter of ten years. I had met my now husband a few years prior, we moved in and started planning our life together. At the time, I felt like I should have been further into my adulthood journey. I finished my undergrad in 2010, went on to finish a year of graduate school by the end of 2012 with the idea I would become a writing professor. There was something really romantic about that dream… but it didn’t pad the bank account. So, I took a new job in 2013 without realizing it would be the start to an actual career. Oh, and I started kicking around the story that would later turn into my first novel.
If I could talk to that twenty-nine year old now, I’d tell her to hang in there — you won’t have to deal with a toxic CEO and this job will open so many doors for you to waltz through. And keep writing. Don't stop writing!!!!
In 2023, this week, I’m turning thirty-nine. Weird. But hey, I’m here. I made it!
I’ve done so much since I was twenty-nine. I finally finished my novel. I got my career off the ground. I got married! I started a podcast network. I bought a house! Talk about a glow up!!
So, what am I doing on my birthday? Maybe I’ll have an expensive, delicious meal. Probably play video games or watch a movie with my love. Or whatever I want, because I’m a grown ass woman! And finally, at thirty-nine, I actually feel like one. Very weird!!
Here’s to the final year of a pretty great decade!
Enough reflecting! I’m looking forward to growing and creating more. I have so much waiting for me in the next decade. Bring it on. Maybe when I hit that wildly major milestone next year, I’ll have even more to celebrate. <3
How I resonate with 29 year old you. I love this look back and it's such a powerful message: you dont know where time will take you, so just buckle up.
Happy birthday, sweet internet friend. If I'm correct, i've floated adjacently to your shine since 29.